


Ugly Sobs

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Crying, Ficlet, Gen, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, No Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:19:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24883714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Natasha didn’t used to let herself cry. There was something freeing about doing it now.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21
Collections: Natasha Bingo





	Ugly Sobs

**Author's Note:**

> For Natasha Romanov Bingo B1-Crying

Despite what certain people seemed to think about the Black Widow, she had cried before. Most of the time, it was for a cover. She played the arm candy, and that meant getting upset over stupid shit. Once, Natasha cried over a broken heel for a new pair of shoes that had been bought for her. It was playing a part, and she knew that better than anyone. When she was being someone else, she had to make sure that she was crying prettily. That's what she was supposed to do: get miffed about something and cry over it, but cry only enough to let them know that she was sad, not truly upset. It was a pain in the ass to do, but not more so than anything else she had to do for her job. 

Getting switched from a spy to a superhero meant that she didn't have to do that kind of thing anymore. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't. Too many people knew what she looked liked. Too recognizable, no matter what she did to her hair. 

She didn't think she would miss getting to cry, but she did. It felt like she had to be perfectly put together. It's not that the other Avengers put unrealistic expectations on her, but as the only woman on the team, she felt like she had to prove that she belonged there. 

It wasn't until several months into the new team that she figured it was okay. To cry, that is. Steve had a complete breakdown, and it was obvious that no one wanted to mock him for it. They didn't care; crying was normal, and they wouldn't tease anyone for it. 

She didn't exactly skip down to her room to have a cleansing cry, but it was nice to have the option. 

And it didn't take long, anyways. 

A few missions later, she was angry and her arm hurt, and she stomped off to her room. She slammed the door shut, leaned against the back of it... and cried. It wasn't pretty crying like she had practiced in the Red Room, it was ugly, heaving sobs where she banged her hand on the floor and sending up shoots of pain. Her eyes itched, her cheeks were sore, and she had snot all over her face. 

It felt good to let go. 

It was over something stupid, which made her feel even better about it. It's not like this pushed her over the edge because she couldn't take holding it in anymore; it was a choice she had made. A choice to let go, to let herself experience that because she wasn't under someone's thumb right now. 

Crying alone saved her the embarrassment of letting someone else see her like this, but now that it was over, it would... be nice to have someone hugging her. Clint. Clint was a goddamn mess of emotions, and in all the time she'd known him, he hadn't judged her. She went to the bathroom and cleaned up her face so it wouldn't be obvious that she'd been crying, then left for Clint's room. Maybe he'd chalk up anything he noticed to her not wearing makeup. 


End file.
